Journal ( April 13 - 30 )
April 13, 2020
At first, it was a big struggle to adjust into being stuck at home although we usually wish to be able to stay at home. However, this was a struggle because the news slowly hit. My best friends and I were planning to have big fun for the last three days that we had left before the lockdown, but it was cancelled. That fun getting ruined kind of hit us pretty hard because we treated the news as if we were never seeing each other ever again, and basically that’s what happened.
As you and probably many know, I started wearing a masks on a daily basis about 2 weeks or more before the lockdown. At the start, the reason for that was “the air”, my parents said. I always had the case of having bad lungs or weak immune system, but not too bad where I needed to have an inhaler with me everywhere. I’ve always been wearing masks when I would live and visit Asia because it is very polluted there. They probably noticed that it’s been smelling like something is being cooked those days, so they forced me to always keep the masks on outside for my health.
April 14, 2020
The days of school finally taking action, my best friends and I tried to keep each other updated with work through texting and FaceTimes, of course. Somehow, it was tougher to stay productive due to having so much time to just lay around since there wasn’t much to do around the house. So keeping up with school work was a big struggle, and it still is. I tend to forget that I still have many school work and must stay on my learning game, but last minute, before work is due, I remember them. Very odd, yes, but very convenient. These days, as the tests approach, I really must get my shit together in order to get good scores that would hopefully satisfy those who have expectations from me.
April 15, 2020
I’ve been having real issues with my sleeping schedule lately. I sleep early, I sleep a lot. I sleep late, I obviously wake up later. To say, the earliest I’ve woken up is probably 1pm. It’s a big big struggle. My best friends would text me no later than midnight but past 11pm, and order me to sleep right that instant and I don’t. It’s really hard, and they know that I don’t, but they still continue texting me hehe. Very funny best friends, but anyways, I’ve been hunting for entertainment and I’ve done nothing but do many new hobbies. I cook, clean, create, workout, watch, read, sleep, and have online services and classes. Not that I attend all of my classes, but about two because, again, I cannot wake up early because I cannot sleep early. I hope this gets fixed soon.
April 16, 2020
Being online has been somewhat difficult for me lately because they make me feel weird feelings like loneliness, envy, and bittersweet happiness. Therefore, I deleted all my social media apps, avoided any texting or calling with everyone, and just focused on my family, myself, and church. The more I think about it, for someone who loves being outside and socialising, I realise that I chose to have such a personality because I hate being alone with my thoughts.
This quarantine is making me think more. It’s nice to have alone time, but it’s too much alone time. My mind manipulates me and creates negative visions or stories in my head as its entertainment, and who the heck would like that. No one. I live by the quote of “No matter how tough life gets, I will always smile like an idiot”, and that’s what I’ve been doing because my moral support is out of reach.
April 17, 2020
Once the lockdown rules were posted and hardened on the community, the church that I am in, we first decided to distance ourselves in the chapel during our services. However, when we then struggled to fit everyone with the 6 feet social distancing, our executive minister decided to stay in our homes and have online services, bible studies, and other church activities.
This somewhat affected me because I am a leader of the Binhi organisation, aka those who are baptised and are younger than 18. Teenagers are so tough to order around, especially when they finally have excuses of “sorry, I wasn’t informed” or “I haven’t been on my phone” or “I was busy with many school work”. It is such a bother because I am not the best leader ever, but all I ask from them is communication and unity, and they never once gave me the expected respect. All of that causes me to struggle with my church work and duties, and my confidence in leading them have surely decreased to the very bottom.
April 20, 2020
Where I thought I’d somewhat be healthier than usual because I’ll always be home now, I’ve been having trouble with eating and messy sleeping schedule. My eating is messy due to the messy sleeping schedule, like a domino effect. Also, my brain has not been functioning well, and my body has weakened to the point where I sometimes waver when I stand. I know, everyone knows, that I don’t have the virus, but it’s obviously me not knowing how to take care of myself. Everyone that sees me lately knows that, yet, I’m not receiving the help I wish I can get and need.
So, I’m writing this that whoever reads this, I hope that they would look at their surroundings and take notice that there are others feeling the same. I know that I wouldn’t be the only one acting and feeling lonely these days, and I hope for them to regain their confidence sooner than I would.
April 21, 2020
Hmmmm the new grading policy. Considering that, all I’ve been curious about is why is one of my teachers changing my grade although I got that teacher’s approval to happily claim the grade I had before school went on a lockdown, but do work here and there for learning purposes. I’m not so sure if that teacher misunderstood, but I hope my grade doesn’t go down any lower when it said that it can only get higher at this point. This new grading policy is a blessing for all students, but many students are not doing what they’re supposed to be doing, and some teachers, I think, fail to understand what the grading policy actually meant.
To that, I’m not so sure if it’s just me, but I definitely felt more productive once this grading policy was announced, and surely have been doing my work. Just... not early, as a pro procrastinator, but still turn in work.
April 22, 2020
So far, I don’t know anyone close to me, or related to me, to be having the virus. This is definitely wonderful news, and we want to keep it that way. Therefore, when we need to go out, we have our gloves and masks on, and we have hand sanitizers and disinfecting sprays as well. A concern we don’t tend to talk about, but definitely despise is the fact that many Americans are being very petty and continue to go out. “We are number one!” Most definitely USA is number one as the country with the most infected population of people, beating China.
Just in case many forgot, it started in China, most likely to spread in neighbouring countries, yet, those countries are below USA in most infected. That’s just hilarious and somewhat embarrassing. We came here for better life and knowing that there is better education, but it seems that the citizens in this country are very stupid haha. I won’t even apologise
April 23, 2020
Another day, and new tweets about being racist to Asians. Seriously, what a stupid world we live in. They should go study before attack others with their so called “facts” that are actually useless opinions that only make them seem like the dumbasses they are. Firstly, they should know that not all Asians are Chinese. Secondly, they should know that many haven’t even been to China and aren’t even from China. Thirdly, the virus can’t only come from China these days, but from many other countries that aren’t even Asian countries. Lastly, they should know that Asians are not the ones going outside their houses and getting mad for being locked in their houses for safety.
Very hilarious if you say so, and I would mention races, but then again, I don’t want to fight racism with racism.
April 24, 2020
My father used to work a bit after the lockdown, and he’s a custodian. He would help disinfecting the school he works on, and help distribute food for those who are able to get free lunch. However, ever since they finished disinfecting the entire school, and they would go to work just for bits and pieces of places in need of being cleaned up, the district told them that they didn’t need to keep working anymore and also be part of the lockdown.
My mother’s situation was different because she’s a nurse at a vella vista, a community health center, and so she would have to keep working. We pick her up and drop her off to her work every single day. Luckily, she hasn’t picked up the virus, and I hope she would never ever pick it up, and to continue doing so, she’s been careful with everything she’s touching and eating. To make this journal interesting, I’m thankful for McDonalds providing the cutest ‘Thank You Meal’ that we get to have for free as long as you have your I.D with you. A very adorable Happy Meal. Delicious.
April 27, 2020
As April ends, the sadder I am for those seniors that doesn’t get the chance to spend their last school year in the happiest way possible. The sadder I am for my fellow class year classmates for not having the chance to spend our 2nd to last year in the happiest way possible. The sadder I am for the junior high and 6th grade students for not having the chance to make more memories. Basically, we have about a month left of the school year, and it hurts to think about it.
I wish that before the school year ends, even a week or a day or two, we get to go back to school and have a small socialising or just get together for everyone and wish the seniors a good future with a proper graduation ceremony. Hoping that Disneyland would let the 2020 graduates have their GradNight some time in the future because this occurrence is not their fault or intention.
April 28, 2020
The coronavirus seems to be lessening in other countries because they are actually obeying their government and staying home and healthy. However, the case for USA is that it is worsening because of the people constantly going in and out of their houses as they please. Other countries are in complete lockdown, and we should be glad that the government gave us the chance to have the ability to be able to travel when needed, but they are taking advantage of the situation that there is no work. Those other countries are about to open up again, with clear skies and air because they don’t use any gas or cause any smoke that would usually give them bad pollution. China used to be one of the most populated countries, but they are now considered to be one of the cleanest.
USA please oh gosh.
April 29. 2020
Today is pretty happy because my favourite Korean idol, favourite artist in general, was blessed with the birth of his first ever child, a daughter. The responses of the fans are also positive and are drowning negative responses on all available sites. That is simply one of the good news I received today, and I don’t want anything to ruin that. However, I will point out that all those good news are mainly form South Korea. Another big one was that they have received only one or two reports of coronavirus carrier the entire week, and that is a success that I wish for USA to be able to relate with. In conclusion, I will never stop trashing some US citizens with their trashy behaviours until they fix it because Trump himself can’t even state a virus with the right name.
April 30, 2020
Last day of the month. The day that I’ve been sadly fearing to arrive.
I simply wonder when this current situation will end because more than a month has passed and the only improvement we got is that we are still number one on the charts. I struggle a lot with studying lately because I don’t know how to teach myself or learn alone. I need to be in a classroom, actually not have access to any electronics, and get scolded for not focusing in class. Somehow, this quarantine is causing to love school more, and that is good news, but the way it is done is just very saddening hahahahaha I hope that we really can hangout soon.
At first, it was a big struggle to adjust into being stuck at home although we usually wish to be able to stay at home. However, this was a struggle because the news slowly hit. My best friends and I were planning to have big fun for the last three days that we had left before the lockdown, but it was cancelled. That fun getting ruined kind of hit us pretty hard because we treated the news as if we were never seeing each other ever again, and basically that’s what happened.
As you and probably many know, I started wearing a masks on a daily basis about 2 weeks or more before the lockdown. At the start, the reason for that was “the air”, my parents said. I always had the case of having bad lungs or weak immune system, but not too bad where I needed to have an inhaler with me everywhere. I’ve always been wearing masks when I would live and visit Asia because it is very polluted there. They probably noticed that it’s been smelling like something is being cooked those days, so they forced me to always keep the masks on outside for my health.
April 14, 2020
The days of school finally taking action, my best friends and I tried to keep each other updated with work through texting and FaceTimes, of course. Somehow, it was tougher to stay productive due to having so much time to just lay around since there wasn’t much to do around the house. So keeping up with school work was a big struggle, and it still is. I tend to forget that I still have many school work and must stay on my learning game, but last minute, before work is due, I remember them. Very odd, yes, but very convenient. These days, as the tests approach, I really must get my shit together in order to get good scores that would hopefully satisfy those who have expectations from me.
April 15, 2020
I’ve been having real issues with my sleeping schedule lately. I sleep early, I sleep a lot. I sleep late, I obviously wake up later. To say, the earliest I’ve woken up is probably 1pm. It’s a big big struggle. My best friends would text me no later than midnight but past 11pm, and order me to sleep right that instant and I don’t. It’s really hard, and they know that I don’t, but they still continue texting me hehe. Very funny best friends, but anyways, I’ve been hunting for entertainment and I’ve done nothing but do many new hobbies. I cook, clean, create, workout, watch, read, sleep, and have online services and classes. Not that I attend all of my classes, but about two because, again, I cannot wake up early because I cannot sleep early. I hope this gets fixed soon.
April 16, 2020
Being online has been somewhat difficult for me lately because they make me feel weird feelings like loneliness, envy, and bittersweet happiness. Therefore, I deleted all my social media apps, avoided any texting or calling with everyone, and just focused on my family, myself, and church. The more I think about it, for someone who loves being outside and socialising, I realise that I chose to have such a personality because I hate being alone with my thoughts.
This quarantine is making me think more. It’s nice to have alone time, but it’s too much alone time. My mind manipulates me and creates negative visions or stories in my head as its entertainment, and who the heck would like that. No one. I live by the quote of “No matter how tough life gets, I will always smile like an idiot”, and that’s what I’ve been doing because my moral support is out of reach.
April 17, 2020
Once the lockdown rules were posted and hardened on the community, the church that I am in, we first decided to distance ourselves in the chapel during our services. However, when we then struggled to fit everyone with the 6 feet social distancing, our executive minister decided to stay in our homes and have online services, bible studies, and other church activities.
This somewhat affected me because I am a leader of the Binhi organisation, aka those who are baptised and are younger than 18. Teenagers are so tough to order around, especially when they finally have excuses of “sorry, I wasn’t informed” or “I haven’t been on my phone” or “I was busy with many school work”. It is such a bother because I am not the best leader ever, but all I ask from them is communication and unity, and they never once gave me the expected respect. All of that causes me to struggle with my church work and duties, and my confidence in leading them have surely decreased to the very bottom.
April 20, 2020
Where I thought I’d somewhat be healthier than usual because I’ll always be home now, I’ve been having trouble with eating and messy sleeping schedule. My eating is messy due to the messy sleeping schedule, like a domino effect. Also, my brain has not been functioning well, and my body has weakened to the point where I sometimes waver when I stand. I know, everyone knows, that I don’t have the virus, but it’s obviously me not knowing how to take care of myself. Everyone that sees me lately knows that, yet, I’m not receiving the help I wish I can get and need.
So, I’m writing this that whoever reads this, I hope that they would look at their surroundings and take notice that there are others feeling the same. I know that I wouldn’t be the only one acting and feeling lonely these days, and I hope for them to regain their confidence sooner than I would.
April 21, 2020
Hmmmm the new grading policy. Considering that, all I’ve been curious about is why is one of my teachers changing my grade although I got that teacher’s approval to happily claim the grade I had before school went on a lockdown, but do work here and there for learning purposes. I’m not so sure if that teacher misunderstood, but I hope my grade doesn’t go down any lower when it said that it can only get higher at this point. This new grading policy is a blessing for all students, but many students are not doing what they’re supposed to be doing, and some teachers, I think, fail to understand what the grading policy actually meant.
To that, I’m not so sure if it’s just me, but I definitely felt more productive once this grading policy was announced, and surely have been doing my work. Just... not early, as a pro procrastinator, but still turn in work.
April 22, 2020
So far, I don’t know anyone close to me, or related to me, to be having the virus. This is definitely wonderful news, and we want to keep it that way. Therefore, when we need to go out, we have our gloves and masks on, and we have hand sanitizers and disinfecting sprays as well. A concern we don’t tend to talk about, but definitely despise is the fact that many Americans are being very petty and continue to go out. “We are number one!” Most definitely USA is number one as the country with the most infected population of people, beating China.
Just in case many forgot, it started in China, most likely to spread in neighbouring countries, yet, those countries are below USA in most infected. That’s just hilarious and somewhat embarrassing. We came here for better life and knowing that there is better education, but it seems that the citizens in this country are very stupid haha. I won’t even apologise
April 23, 2020
Another day, and new tweets about being racist to Asians. Seriously, what a stupid world we live in. They should go study before attack others with their so called “facts” that are actually useless opinions that only make them seem like the dumbasses they are. Firstly, they should know that not all Asians are Chinese. Secondly, they should know that many haven’t even been to China and aren’t even from China. Thirdly, the virus can’t only come from China these days, but from many other countries that aren’t even Asian countries. Lastly, they should know that Asians are not the ones going outside their houses and getting mad for being locked in their houses for safety.
Very hilarious if you say so, and I would mention races, but then again, I don’t want to fight racism with racism.
April 24, 2020
My father used to work a bit after the lockdown, and he’s a custodian. He would help disinfecting the school he works on, and help distribute food for those who are able to get free lunch. However, ever since they finished disinfecting the entire school, and they would go to work just for bits and pieces of places in need of being cleaned up, the district told them that they didn’t need to keep working anymore and also be part of the lockdown.
My mother’s situation was different because she’s a nurse at a vella vista, a community health center, and so she would have to keep working. We pick her up and drop her off to her work every single day. Luckily, she hasn’t picked up the virus, and I hope she would never ever pick it up, and to continue doing so, she’s been careful with everything she’s touching and eating. To make this journal interesting, I’m thankful for McDonalds providing the cutest ‘Thank You Meal’ that we get to have for free as long as you have your I.D with you. A very adorable Happy Meal. Delicious.
April 27, 2020
As April ends, the sadder I am for those seniors that doesn’t get the chance to spend their last school year in the happiest way possible. The sadder I am for my fellow class year classmates for not having the chance to spend our 2nd to last year in the happiest way possible. The sadder I am for the junior high and 6th grade students for not having the chance to make more memories. Basically, we have about a month left of the school year, and it hurts to think about it.
I wish that before the school year ends, even a week or a day or two, we get to go back to school and have a small socialising or just get together for everyone and wish the seniors a good future with a proper graduation ceremony. Hoping that Disneyland would let the 2020 graduates have their GradNight some time in the future because this occurrence is not their fault or intention.
April 28, 2020
The coronavirus seems to be lessening in other countries because they are actually obeying their government and staying home and healthy. However, the case for USA is that it is worsening because of the people constantly going in and out of their houses as they please. Other countries are in complete lockdown, and we should be glad that the government gave us the chance to have the ability to be able to travel when needed, but they are taking advantage of the situation that there is no work. Those other countries are about to open up again, with clear skies and air because they don’t use any gas or cause any smoke that would usually give them bad pollution. China used to be one of the most populated countries, but they are now considered to be one of the cleanest.
USA please oh gosh.
April 29. 2020
Today is pretty happy because my favourite Korean idol, favourite artist in general, was blessed with the birth of his first ever child, a daughter. The responses of the fans are also positive and are drowning negative responses on all available sites. That is simply one of the good news I received today, and I don’t want anything to ruin that. However, I will point out that all those good news are mainly form South Korea. Another big one was that they have received only one or two reports of coronavirus carrier the entire week, and that is a success that I wish for USA to be able to relate with. In conclusion, I will never stop trashing some US citizens with their trashy behaviours until they fix it because Trump himself can’t even state a virus with the right name.
April 30, 2020
Last day of the month. The day that I’ve been sadly fearing to arrive.
I simply wonder when this current situation will end because more than a month has passed and the only improvement we got is that we are still number one on the charts. I struggle a lot with studying lately because I don’t know how to teach myself or learn alone. I need to be in a classroom, actually not have access to any electronics, and get scolded for not focusing in class. Somehow, this quarantine is causing to love school more, and that is good news, but the way it is done is just very saddening hahahahaha I hope that we really can hangout soon.
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